An Idea

I have made progress with ideas. I will be focusing on embroidery, gaining inspiration from my journal entries over the past 24 months about sleep.

I have been reflecting on how much I am willing to disclose about my experiences as they are deeply personal. Depending on what I share in my art, it could leave me in a very vulnerable and exposed position. I need to ensure I feel safe and comfortable with what I am sharing.

I initially thought of representing the 24-month period in a chronological way, month by month, perhaps embroidering words on 24 mini pillows. It has been suggested to me that I don’t need to show the timeline in a strict chronological order. A single pillow can stand alone and still evoke a powerful sense of timeline, like Tracey Emin’s My Bed. You can feel the build up of time without her needing to create the same bed installation multiple times.

I need to trust that the audience will feel the passage of time. I don’t need to spell it out for them or create 24 pillows to demonstrate it. I want to explore how to visually represent experiences without explicitly stating them.

I conducted an audit of all my journal entries over the past 24 months and I have pulled out the words and phrases I feel comfortable sharing. I have realised that it will be a very monotonous, time-consuming process to embroider 20-40 words on pillowcases. I am considering using machine embroidery instead, or a mix of hand and machine embroidery. Since I have no prior experience with sewing machines, I’ve signed up for a one-day course on freehand machine embroidery in July. This will not only help me develop new technical skills but also inspire me to explore visuals beyond words.

I’ve tested out some different colour threads and size of text below:

I’ve realised how isolating being an artist can be, especially if you’re operating from home. It was incredibly refreshing to have a peer mentoring session. I discovered how much I genuinely enjoy connecting with others and experiencing the synergy within a group, where I feel truly understood. It’s a valuable way to express yourself instead of feeling trapped in your own echo chamber. Some of the takeaways from the peer mentoring session:

• the space in between objects builds the story too i.e white space

• start with one pillow case to experiment, even if it is just a corner of the pillow case

• try to remove the barriers, to feel safer in messing up, in not liking what I make

• once it’s been created, then I can actually see how it looks in a space, is it communicating what I want it to

• to demonstrate the period of time, I could use a distressing effect for those that I want to look older and less distressed for the newer ones

• water soluble fabric for embroidery has an incredible effect. I’d like to test it, let the words tangle into a blob to convey tiredness. It will help preserve an element of distance between my experiences and my art

• which could be interesting way to draw the audience in…and force them to work it out, to examine?

• having the art in a space or venue brings the art alive especially if there is audience there too i.e how shadows, light, wind can make the art look different

• my work has been described as earnest, sincere, tender, and that humour is likely to come naturally i.e words on a pillow that aren’t all sunshine and rainbows is sort of satirical

• on the right track without even knowing it

• the biggest asset and skill I can give myself through this bursary process is to unlock this internal struggle and stuckness I have with creating work solo i.e I feel I have to be in a creative atmosphere to just make and experiment

• it will be a gift for the rest of my artistic practice, it’ll likely feel wildly unnatural and uncomfortable but its figuring out how to accept the unhelpful self dialogue at times and just create.

I’ve been contemplating what I want people to feel when they view or experience my art whether it’s validation, recognition or hope. I have also started thinking about how the audience will experience the art. Whether’s that’s listening to something, interacting with the art or creating an experience for the audience.

I am trying to find a studio space or shared studio I can work from at least for next few months as part of the Creative Pathways bursary. Working from my living room is not ideal. I don’t want my space to limit my ideas or my ambitions.

Thanks for reading, if you have any comments or feedback, please feel free to share.