Feeling Stuck

I have been feeling stuck and confused about what I want to create, with ideas seeming to evade me. Despite reassurances from Somerset Art Works (SAW) not to put pressure or expectations on myself, I find it difficult to let go of that tendency.

I find that I need to fully think through an idea before moving on to experimentation. Taking an idea from paper to actual making, that’s a big step and I’m not quite at that stage in my practice yet. I’m trying, but I still struggle to materialise some of my ideas, even after experimenting with different techniques.

Working alone sometimes feels inhibitory. When I am in classes, courses, or groups, I am able to be more free and expressive, with less hesitation between idea and action.

In April, I created a project proposal and a budget breakdown of how I want to spend the bursary money. My goals for the process of the SAW Creative Pathways Bursary are to develop a coherent portfolio of work, exposing the mundane or domestic reality of things, exploring hidden aspects, parts that are unseen.

Over April and May, I attended a three-session mixed media textiles course at Bristol Folk House. I also participated in a day visual journaling course at the RWA with artist Jill Carter, which was incredible. I definitely deviated away from the goals of the course, but Jill didn’t bat an eyelid and encouraged me to do it my way. She could tell when I was getting frustrated and helped guide me. A really helpful starting point Jill provided at the beginning of the day course was to consider what question I want to answer and to explore that on a blank white paper.

I did get stuck repeatedly in both courses, but I still managed to create something tangible. At least, I’ve gained clarity on the techniques I don’t enjoy or am not interested in, like printing vegetables onto fabric. Below are some of the experiments and explorations I did.

I’ve spent most of May working on my website, mainly because I wanted a space to blog and share my progress. Then I started second-guessing whether I really need an online presence at this early stage. Is it worth it? For now, I’ve decided to go ahead and use some of the bursary funds to support it.

I’ve been documenting my ideas, techniques I’m interested in exploring, themes, and inspirational materials in my notebook, making sure to keep it updated regularly. I’ve also been thinking about my audience, though maybe that’s a bit too early. I want to curate experiences, perhaps with an element of suspension, waiting. I’ve also been pondering how warmth, humour, and playfulness can coexist - how you can be playful and light when working with serious topics as sources of inspiration.

We are currently trying to find a venue that can accommodate all four of us, as we agree that we’d prefer not to stress about finding individual venues especially since it would have needed to be confirmed by April or May. Since we all live in different areas, finding an accessible location will be a challenge.

We’ve had our first peer mentoring session. The main takeaway is that even while stuck, I’m still engaging in ways to keep me curious, and working in ways of curiosity is key. Feeling stuck can be an opportunity to explore and experiment. Focusing on the process rather than just the outcome, and trying to keep my practice open and flexible without being confined to project briefs or specific outcomes.

I see this process as one of curiosity, experimentation, and growth. Feeling stuck is a natural part of that process, and honestly, as much as I’d like to say I’ll embrace it. I don’t always manage to.

Thanks for reading, if you have any comments or feedback, please feel free to share.